Self-education for moms
five solid tips to be interested and interesting
In college I befriended a family of homeschooled siblings who have all grown into uniquely interesting and delightful adults. The thing I appreciate most about them is that even though they range from some siblings being very “academic” to others not at all, they are all interested people. They are sharp and able to converse intelligently on a wide variety of topics because they have read widely, and are interested in a wide variety of things outside their particular area of vocational focus. I asked their mother what she did to turn out such great individuals. She replied something humble about a mix of Charlotte Mason and the Well-Trained Mind. But I suspect the driving force in shaping her children was that she herself is an interested and interesting person, and overall just a first-class force of nature.
A teacher’s, and even more so a mother’s, character is not incidental to learning. Interesting, intelligent people make more interesting, intelligent people.
An adjective often found in curriculum blurbs is “life-long.” We want our kids to be life-long learners. Which means that presumably we want to be life-long learners. And even if we don’t want to be, we need to be. The case for mom the why of self-education has been made more thoroughly and ably by others such as Cindy Rollins and The Scholé Sisters in their new book Scholé Every Day.1 My aim here is to share five practical actions (beyond just read books, because duh) that have helped me personally in the motherhood stage of my (pardon me while I cringe a little) life-long learning journey.
1. Deleting Social Media Off My Phone
This one hurts, but I was finally honest with myself about what having the apps on my phone was doing to my thought life.2 I have always kept up a habit of reading and listening to podcasts and lectures. I told myself that as long as I was improving myself through reading, and my “self improvement” time outweighed my screen time, it didn’t matter that I went on instagram regularly.
But wisdom is not acquired merely through reading and podcasts, as if every new bite of content were a step on a ladder up towards intelligence. Knowledge, to borrow from Charlotte Mason, has to be assimilated. Assimilation requires attention and meditation (as in the biblical sense “on his law doth he meditate day and night.”) It is well-documented by this point that social media destroys both. I realised I had more difficulty focusing on what I was reading than I used to, and meditation went out the window because those in those snatches of quiet that could have been used to meditate, I just pulled out my phone for a quick minute. So much of what I read or listened to was hitting my short term memory and bouncing right off again. I realised that my self-education efforts wouldn’t matter, if the soil of my mind wasn’t soft enough for ideas to plant and take root. Phones make mind-soil hard and weedy.
2. The 5x5 Reading Challenge
This is a Scholé Sisters initiative where you pick 5 categories and read 5 books in each topic. Or if that sounds like too much, you could always start with 4x4 or 3x3! This is my first year doing it and I am really seeing the benefits. It’s almost like taking a class with a set reading list: it helps me sustain longer patterns of thought, and remember what I’ve read as I compare books within my topics and let them “talk to each other.”
3. Eschewing the Content Vacuum
Just because “content” is conservative or Christian (or both), doesn’t mean it’s worth my time. A random example that comes to mind is youtuber Brett Cooper. I’ve never disagreed with anything I’ve heard her say, but what is the point in listening to some half-brewed takes on pop culture and current events? There is never any meaningful insight or new knowledge brought to bear on a subject. It’s like the sports commentary of current events. “Wow, he sure kicked the ball there didn’t he.”
That’s not to say I don’t have ‘useless’ interests, but I try to make sure it’s something I really love, and to not settle for vapid entertainment.
4. Keeping a Notebook
I have a large notebook where I jot down notes from the books I’m reading, keep commonplaces, and sometimes scribble out my own thoughts as I work through issues. Taking notes has been hugely beneficial to help me assimilate what I’ve read. It doesn’t have to be intense – a sentence or two to sum up a chapter is plenty.3 It’s particularly helpful with audiobooks to have a summary to easily refer back to. I can occasionally be spotted in the kitchen, dripping spoon in one hand, leaning my floured forearm onto my poor notebook and furiously scrawling out a summary of a paragraph I’ve just heard and don’t want to forget.
5. Plodding
I am naturally a procrastinator-binger. For years, the biggest factor in my productivity has been adrenaline (often caffeine-fuelled). I once memorised approximately 200 Hebrew vocab words the morning of an exam. But as a homemaker this method of madness becomes less and less sustainable. (Mystie Winckler has a convicting book about this called Simplified Organisation.)
Plodding is something my husband is really good at. He would finish a 300 page book in 30 days, reading 10 pages a day. I would have a 200 page book on my nightstand for months because I insisted that my personality is more suited to a “when I feel like it” productivity. Well, turns out my personality just needed to grow up a little.
Helpful Reading:
Simplified Organisation, Mystie Winckler
Atomic Habits, James Clear
The Psalms :)
Beyond Mere Motherhood, Cindy Rollins
Which I have not read yet, but can’t wait to.
For me, this also includes the Substack app, though it is definitely far better than others in terms of actual worthwhile content, and no constantly refreshing doom scroll.
In fact, it’s probably better if its not intense. I feel a post about note-taking skills coming on.
And I feel like this is where the refamilarizing of authentic desire comes from. As children we are always taught to tie our desire to external forces; to please others, be a winner, get the goal ect. Then, as adults, we struggle with our self worth and motivation. Not be cause we don't want to do something meaningful but because we havent learned how! Being more disciplined with yourself little by little will help your desire to be and show up for yourself and have the will to actually do it.
Atomic habits literally changed my life in best way